The dangers of choking during sex
Warning: This story contains descriptions of sexual assault
“He’s on top of me – we’re kissing and having sex, and then suddenly he put his forearm around my neck and pressed it all out. I just freeze.”
Rachel* has never slept with this man before. Speaking to the BBC, she said that when the gender was consistent, the man began to suffocate her without warning and without her consent – which was very frightening.
“I was surprised that he just did it like normal, so I just went,” the 26-year-old said. “I wasn’t unconscious, but this numbness hung over me and I was just waiting for it to stop.”
Rachel said it happened again two weeks later, with another man she met on a dating site. Like in previous occasions, suffocation has not been discussed in advance.
“The actual strangulation is a blank in my memory,” she said. “His hands were around my neck and I took them apart until it was over.
“You went from feeling safe to losing control of the situation. A year later, I didn’t have sex because that’s how it made me feel physically alienated.”
Both events are painful for Rachel, who assumes that the man who lives her must have seen it in porn.
“It feels like – in their mind – just the normal part of sex.”
A recent government review found that pornography (NFS) involving non-fatal hangings is “prevalent” and its online prevalence helps stuff filters into the sex life of some people, especially among young people. The BBC spoke with women who experienced choking during sexual acts — whether willing rather than willing — and experts say that while this may be more common, it is illegal and very dangerous.
When someone is strangled, the pressure on his neck cuts off the blood supply to the brain, which can lead to dizziness and a head of mind. The oxygen levels in the body suddenly drop, while the accumulation of carbon dioxide increases significantly. This can lead to brain damage and even death.
Other risks include loss of consciousness, stroke, seizures, and speech disorders. Suffocation can also cause psychological problems such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and lead to depression.
Despite health risks, recent investigations by government-funded charities are Solving Ransomware Institute (IFAS), suggesting that hanging is most common in the 16-34-year-old age group, with 35% of respondents reporting that they were choked by their partners during voluntary sexual acts.
About 16% of UK respondents (385 of 2,344) were strangled once during voluntary sexual acts or multiple times, and the data suggest that the proportion of women is slightly higher than that of men.
Half of the experienced sample said they had agreed, while 17% said they did not.
Some people engaged in sexual asphyxiation say that it aggravates the fun – like Amanda*, she told the BBC that she was often strangled by her boyfriend in what she calls rough sexual acts.
“It made us both go away,” the 28-year-old said. “I found out that opening his mind, I believe he wouldn’t go too far and put a lot of pressure on him.
“It’s a close thing to the person you trust the most, so you feel safe.”
A quick search on mainstream adult websites takes only a few seconds to find a series of porn movies with long sequences of non-fatal strangle (NFS).
According to Professor Hannah Bows of the Center for Research on Violence and Abuse at Durham University, the effects of pornography have led to strangulation becoming a “standard behavior.”
“What we’ve seen over the last 10 to 15 years is that it has become a form of charming, fantasy and famous ‘normal’ sexual encounter,” she said.
The findings of former Prime Minister Rishi Sunak commissioned the porn industry commentary were strengthened. It found that content involving NFS was “a prevalence on mainstream platforms” and suggested making, possessing or publishing porn that showed that women strangled during sex were in trouble. Currently online description is not illegal at present.
The government also said further action is needed to address the findings of the normalization of graphical hanging in real life.
Detailed information on help and support for sexual abuse or violence has been provided in the UK BBC action line
The NFS was sentenced to a maximum of five years in England and Wales in 2022. Between July 2022 and June 2023, approximately 700 offenders were sentenced for non-fatal stifling or suffocation.
There are no statistics on the number of people strangled during sexual intercourse. Latest Women’s Census Performances of 2,000 women 14 years of age or older who have been killed in the UK since 2014 were used in 550 (27%). About 372 people were strangled to death by an intimate partner.
The National Council of Chiefs of Police (NPCC) warns the NFS that it can control and coerce partners by using physical strength to create fear—if a prior non-fatal strangulation is seven times more likely to be murdered by a partner.
Amanda didn’t know that choking could be a crime in England and Wales, even for pleasure. “I don’t know, but it’s our business, it’s our sex life – it’s not like none of us have ever talked about it.”
Her boyfriend agreed: “It’s hot. We watch it on porn, so you think, ‘If they do it and it works, why not?’ I’m probably more careful right now.”
But Harriet Smailes from IFA said, “There is no safe way to strangle.”
“We also know that consent to these actions is not always sought beforehand and that the ability of individuals to provide ongoing consent may be hindered by being strangled.”
Kama Melly KC, who specializes in prosecuting sex crimes, said the NFS usually occurs as an act of domestic violence and can be difficult to prove due to the lack of obvious harm, witnesses, CCTV or forensic discovery.
She added: “The fact that there may be a loss of consciousness in just a few seconds – meaning that the victim’s narrative of the incident is not very clear.”
Ms. Meli said the defendant could claim that blackmail during sexual intercourse was consistent, although such a defense would not be possible if the victim suffered serious injuries.
Assistant Commissioner Louisa Rolfe, head of domestic abuse at the NPCC, wants people to think twice before having sexual asphyxiation.
“I want to let myself know and really understand because you’re not a medical expert,” she said. “You might feel like you’re doing something safe, but all the research and evidence suggests it’s not.
“This is very dangerous, so consider the consequences.”
*The name has been changed
