Young men are in crisis due to fatherlessness | Global News Avenue

Harley Watson is heading towards what he calls a “gangster” life.

The 17-year-old boy, from Clacton, Essex, is a “lost and distressed child” who grew up without a father.

“I’ve been doing very badly in school and if I keep moving forward I’m almost certainly excluded.”

His experience is New reportyoung men who say lack positive male role models are in crisis.

The Center for Social Justice (CSJ) report found that fatherlessness is a significant impact on boys’ mental health, education and future prospects.

14-year-old Harley joins the lads and needs dads, a local program that gives boys life skills and confidence.

The male tutor works with a group of eight boys at a time to teach them about healthy relationships, anger management, and what makes dads good.

Harley said it changed his life. He learned how to take care of himself and “become a better person.”

“Now they support me in the military,” he added. “They bought me a kit and helped me meet the right people. It’s a career path I didn’t even look into, but I’m really excited.”

Sonia Shaljean, who runs the organization, said she knew Harley had great potential even if he joined them.

She believes that fatherlessness is a key factor in the problems of problems ranging from crime and addiction to school exclusion, homelessness and male suicide.

“It’s not serious enough,” she said. “We’re around this issue, which is almost controversial, but the boy needs a supportive father.

“Some people were offended by our names – the lad needed dad – but I kept on. We didn’t get rid of the importance of motherhood, but male influence was also important.

“Ultimately, we also help women and girls by raising smarter, stable and safer boys.”

• By the age of 14, almost half of the eldest sons did not live with two natural parents, while 21% of the children born in 1970

• Nowadays, boys are more likely to have smartphones than to live with their father

• Boys struggle with education are more likely to take their own lives, fewer jobs are likely to be stable, and more likely to fall into crime

• As the possibility of male presence in the family fades, young people are seeking new masculinity, such as controversial social media figure Andrew Tate

• “We are so careless when relegating traditional male virtues that we have the potential to abandon a generation,” said Lawrence Dallaglio, former captain of the English Rugby League.

source: CSJ – A conservative think tank dedicated to poverty.

Sonia, the mother of three young men, said some boys who grew up in violent families may be afraid of men, so a positive male role model is crucial.

“We worked with them in the same group for eight years, so they built a real friendship, like a family.

“Our groups are very diverse. It’s a misunderstanding that father’s absence is just a problem in some communities.”

Not all fathers have no choice, she said.

“Some are great dads, but sadly they died. Some boys are abandoned by their fathers, but some are eager to participate in their son’s life, and some even struggle with suicidal thoughts.”

On the eight-month mark of the program, she said, boys often start talking about their father.

“As confidence grows, some are ready to explore the possibility of reconnecting, and many continue to build relationships with their fathers.”

Sonia, founded a 10-year-old dad, initially with a £4,000 grant, worked in criminal justice, addiction, domestic abuse and homelessness for more than 20 years.

“I’ve always seen the same heartbreaking pattern – many men are trapped in cycles of crime, addiction and despair. Almost every time, they have one thing in common: growing up without a father or a positive male role model.

“I thought ‘I had to do something’. If we didn’t serve these boys, we wouldn’t break this cycle.”

The organization has about 250 boys getting help.

Charlie Howlett, 19, said he joined his life six years ago.

His mother died when he was two or two, leaving his father to take him and his younger brother away alone.

He added: “My father is not in a good situation, and this is not the best situation.”

A few years later, the brothers moved in with their Nan and aunt, but remained close to their father until Charlie suddenly died of a blood clot when he was 12 years old.

Charlie tries to be strong for everyone and become the body of his father. “But I can’t handle it,” he said. “I’m lashing at everyone and starting to think about suicide.”

He said the lads needed dad to give him a “unthinkable” support.

“I thought I was the only one who went through it, and then I met these boys of my age who also grew up without a father.

“For me, mentors are a big part of that. You grow up to trust them like your own father.”

Sonia and her team supported Charlie three years ago, when Nan, who was still living with him, died.

He added: “They helped me be a better brother and I think that put him on a good path, too.”

Sonia helped Charlie get a pipeline apprenticeship, and last year he has been mentoring the boys on the program.

“It’s a great feeling to know that I’m giving me something. I can see a part of myself,” he said.

LADS requires dad to also conduct a reading tutor course in elementary school and a new plan was conducted in September, the first time a male teacher has intervened in a 7th grade boy for three months.

Despite the impact, Sonia said the lads need dad to fight for funds.

“It’s so frustrating because I feel like we have this kind of blueprint that can be launched nationwide, but I have to turn down mothers who don’t live in Essex, who are eager to help their sons.”

Sonia said society must trust boys like Harley and Charlie and help them realize their potential and break the cycle of fatherlessness.

As for Charlie, he said he wanted to continue to pipe, see more of the world and continue to mentor the boys. But his ultimate desire is to become a father.

“I can’t wait to be a dad. This is one thing I know in my life. I want to be the best dad ever.”

If you are suffering or despair, you can provide detailed information on help and support in the UK BBC action line