Navigating the crazy world of dating after my wife’s death | Global News Avenue

When did you mention that you were recently widowed and still grieving mother of three when you were chatting with someone on a dating app?

This is just one of many dilemmas Geraint John has found himself since losing his wife Deb Pancreatic cancer Two years ago.

Geraint, 43, has 20 years of dating and found that online dating experiences are “stained but interesting”.

A date gave him a drink. When he mentioned his recent widow, others quit sharply.

He said he thinks he is considering seeking a ban.

He smiled and said, “I’m like, ‘Good God, (dating) has really changed.”

Geraint and Deb met on a 2005 show, and just three months later, she quit her job in Nottingham to live with him in Cardiff. They got married the following year, moved to London, and then had three children, now 17, 13 and 10 years old.

DEB was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in March 2021 and Died in September The following year was 43 years old.

Geraint said there have been many serious milestones since then.

One of the earliest people was to go home and see her belongings – coats, shoes, glasses – around the house.

Then there was a “really very tough day” where he vacuumed all her clothes and placed them in the attic.

About six months after her death, he realized that starting with the blessed Lasagnes slam, he finally finally got into trouble.

“People just assume you’re OK, that’s you’re sitting on the couch yourself, people aren’t coming over, it’s a dark place,” he said.

Around this time, he began to think about dating.

He was encouraged in the last few days of the conversation he had with DEB.

He said, “I remember Deb said to me, ‘Oh, you’ll be fine, just keep going.”

But his plans so far have received different responses from those around him.

“People are like ‘oh, it’s too early’. Or the other is ‘you’re willing’.”

“My family just thought it was fun, ‘good for you’.

“The kids just found it interesting.”

He set up an online dating profile.

He smiled and said, “I think it’s stupid to put my picture there. I think there’s a picture of me nude during the holidays.”

“And you think, ‘Good God, who on earth wants to date a 42-year-old W-husband who has three kids like Jack in the box? It’s going to be fun.”

Soon after, he found himself sometimes going to several dates a week.

He laughed, “In some cases, they are absolutely adorable, and in some cases it’s actually like a crazy tea party, absolutely chaos.”

He experimented with the news of how best to break his situation—sometimes he would look up before a meeting, other times he would tell them himself.

“Sometimes, when I say ‘I’m a wives husband, my wife died 18 months ago’ or ‘I just want to drink and go home, people literally disappear into the toilet. Say.

“That happened two or three times, and that’s fun. They actually go away.”

Then there was the time when the date tried to kiss him, he refused and all hell was let go.

“She basically started screaming and yelling in front of everyone, she actually fired at me, and the doorman had to be involved,” he said.

“Then she made a generally accepted gesture to me and she entered the night.”

He said a woman began to contact him ruthlessly from different social media accounts and called him from different numbers.

On a date, he found himself soaked in wine.

He said: “I wasted my excuse for the fact that I needed to go, and she said ‘You just wasted my time’ and just had a drink on me.”

“I just dripped on Welsh’s face with white wine.”

There are also some “very cute people” dates who also feel sad for their partner.

He said: “But, of course, this won’t solve it.

Just over six months ago, Geraint met someone.

This is not through a dating site, they already know each other.

“She realized my situation and in a sense she helped me very much,” he said.

They had been on vacation with her and his kids and planned another trip.

He said his children and the wider family were pleased with him.

“Deb’s parents were great and very supportive, we performed well…we texted, they came down, we went through this together.

“They know I’m with a good guy.”

But how do you browse new relationships in your grief for your wife?

“It’s really hard,” he admitted.

He recently said on Deb’s birthday that his “completely gone”.

“I’m a hard guy around,” he said.

“But I think we’ve gone through the difficult places now.”

Jarant said he accepted Deb was not back and was studying for a sad life.

“But sometimes I thought she was on the street because (a woman) was wearing the same coat, so I called her.”

He believes that if his own version of empathy is his loss, he becomes even more angry and very anxious.

He said: “Two years later, it disappeared.

On Deb’s birthday, he went out for dinner with his three children, but booked a table for five.

“When they said ‘the fifth person arrived?’ I always said ‘It looks like she ran very late’.

He said he tried to avoid Mother’s Day but held an annual commemoration on her death anniversary.

Deb’s photos looked back at him from their refrigerators and around the house, and he often spent time sitting on her memorial stool when he wanted time to reflect.

Social media has always been a channel for his grief and he continues to share his experiences in the hope that it can help others experience something similar.

“When she died, I said to her ‘no one will forget you’.”

“I kind of make my mission.”

• If possible, before people die, a Guide Book was created without them, including practicality such as when the bins will go out? How do I get up? When do I put my winter sheets on my bed?
• Seek your close friends for support during difficult milestones, such as packing up your loved one’s property
• Have a code word with close friends, which means you need quick support
• Don’t forget to self-care – keep exercising and keep a close eye on the alcohol you’re consuming
• Keep talking about the people you lost and share your sorrow with others

• Communication is the key, conduct public dialogue
• Don’t lead anyone on the road to the garden – they are fragile
• Understanding Sorrow – He recommends Ricky Gervais’s Netflix series, Julia Samuel’s podcast
• If you are in this situation
• Always respect those who are no longer there